So how do you stay calm in the slow motion of the second wave of COVID-19? To be honest, we have no idea, but that did not stop us from writing this guide. Whatever the solution – good food, slapstick comedy and aggressive metal can not hurt.
Denial: Escapism & Food
If you find the humility and homogeneity of Icelanders literally suffocating your soul during this brutal period, induce some radical flight by reorganizing your apartment into a Spanish villa – no, the Mexican sombrero is not allowed, you idiot – and order some Spanish saliva paella and obscure croquettes from Food and Drink. Don’t worry, they will take you home so you can be safely removed from others. Food & beverage is a Grapevine favorite and actually a Michelin-starred restaurant, it just, well, * technically * needs a star. If you are not convinced, then this paella will convince you. I ate a whole pan last weekend and fell down with some sangria and an old Almodóvar movie.
Anger: METAL, METAL, METAL
So you’ve been locked inside because God knows how long now, and now you just want to scream. Indulge in that desire by rebuilding your apartment in the Spanish Villa-Vesturbær and making it a new style of a Norwegian black metal place from the beginning of the eighties. To complete the look, color your hair black, paint your face white, turn Black Death and Abuse up to eleven, and spend all night complaining on the internet that every cool Icelandic version of black metal that has just been released is not real black metal. Then faint due to all the shouting or wait until the neighbors call the cops. Either way works. Pick up the latest Icelandic metal versions at Valdi’s CD store… Not that they are of course metal.
Agreement: Disconnection from reality
Do you like peeing in bottles? How about neglecting everything that matters in real life? Even your children? If the answer is yaas and yaas and fuck yaaas, then we have a solution for you to completely avoid this COVID catastrophe and also have insane fun at the same time! EVE online is a complex “sandbox” MMORPG where players have free roaming around the universe to cheat, control, steal, profit or troll as they please. We would like to recommend getting into a gas harvest, negotiating a contract with some vigilant police officers and becoming some sort of mafia boss. Regardless, if you become a member and start playing, we promise that the next time you look at the clock, it will be around June 2025. The downside, of course, is that you will not be at work, your children will not talk to you and you becomes bankrupt, both emotionally and financially. But hey, who needs a family when you have sims?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpE8J8EdLPU
Depression: Watching “Comedy Movies”
The best way to maintain depression is usually to watch an Icelandic film. How many ways can we slowly tell the story of a difficult middle-aged man in the countryside? Apparently much! Sometimes Icelanders produce brilliant comedies. ‘New life,’ ‘Valley life’ and ‘Police life’ are all silly slapstick movies about city boys trying to start a new life in, well, the countryside obviously. You could also take a look at this ‘With everything clear,’ the only successful musical comedy made in Iceland, with Supporters and the legendary feminist band The icicles. Pick them all up at The main video rental.
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Consent: Read, Stubit!
Books? Do you remember them? We do not, but we were forced to read them all at school just like you. If you really want to kill time, take control of a nation and maybe find some philosophical insight into this depressing world all at the same time, then there are some key books to read. We recommend to save your sanity ‘Heather: shepherds on the edge of the world’ after Steinunn Sigurðardóttir, translated by Philip Roughton. It is a unique insight into the real life of Heiður, a supermodel in New York who left the spotlight after becoming a farmer. For fiction, go for it ‘Woman at 1000 degrees after Hallgrímur Helgason, translated by Brian FitzGibbon. This is about an old woman with a grenade who is reminiscent of her crazy batshit upbringing in World War II and her Nazi father. Fun stuff. If you finish them and need to kill even more time, the pieces are always collected Halldór Laxness.
Finds meaning:
… Tba