But if one decides to work on the relationship, one must be prepared for both parties to roll up their sleeves.
That’s what Fie Kolding, a sexologist and couples therapist, says.
– One must be prepared for the fact that there is a great deal of communicative work ahead, she explains.
Trust must first and foremost be rebuilt, and this is done by creating transparency and openness.
For example, if you become anxious when your partner is going to the city, you have to find out for yourself what you need to get rid of the unrest.
– Maybe you just need more information, for example about where your partner is going in the city and who they are going to be with. Or it may be that for the first time you need your partner to call home once an hour, says Fie Kolding.
To regain trust, you need some proof that you can actually trust your partner in the future.
That is why openness and the fact that you keep your appointments is incredibly important.
Mads Fredskilde, a couple therapist who specializes in infidelity, suggests that you drive with completely open phones for a period of time, ie if your partner feels a need to see the other person’s messages through, there must be room for that.
– It is about getting a chance to verify that your partner is telling the truth, he says.
You can also give your partner access to see your GPS location.
– A small intrusion into privacy is the price you have to pay, he says.
The other important thing after infidelity is that one gets to rebuild the relationship itself.
Here, Mads Fredskilde advises that you imagine that you are not just continuing your previous relationship, but that you start fresh:
– A relationship after infidelity is like a house lying in ruins. Therefore, it can actually be an advantage to rebuild it completely, he says.
By that he means that, of course, one must take the good things from the old relationship, but that one must build a new solid foundation, which must consist of a close friendship and intimacy.
You do this by trying to understand each other on a deeper level, by identifying, admiring and appreciating each other’s strengths, and by setting new goals and dreams that you are chasing together.
/ ritzau focused /
Source: The Nordic Page